Casual Updates

So much tell everyone regarding the weeks following my transformation session, but it’s late, so I’m going to be quick.

Halloween – I was Little Red Riding Hood, while my fiancee was the Big Bad Wolf. Totally rocked it, and told a number of people (quite clearly) about the role crossdressing plays in my life. Felt good.

Casual – I’ve been doing a lot more casual/hidden-in-plain-sight dressing lately. Leggings beneath jeans, underwear, painted toe nails. It’s easy to do, and makes me happy.

New Wig – I couldn’t get over how much I liked the long-hair pictures from the transformation session, so I bought my own long hair wig. It arrived this week, but I didn’t get a chance to try it on until today. It’s a little bit browner than I thought I was getting, but after playing around with it, and wearing half the day, I think I have it under control. Here’s a pic of the wig, front and back.


front and back

Overall, I think the short wigs do a better job of shaping my face, but there’s nothing like having long hair to play with and style. The brown hue is also growing on me.

In case anyone was curious, there are about 40 pictures from the transformation on flickr. At some point I will edit a few to make my postable here, but they’re worth creating a flickr account for, because his make-up job is fantastic. I can’t wait to go back.

I want to update a bit more frequently going forward, but easier said than done. Until next time!

Transformation with GenderFun

On a normal day, when I take my make-up off, I am sad. The escaping euphoria as a exhale one final feminine breath. Just a few moments ago I took off my make-up, but this time the sadness was stronger.

This afternoon I went with my lovely fiancée to visit Adrian Acosta (A.K.A. Amnesia Sparkles) of Adrian provides high-quality, personalized transformation sessions out of his apartment in Brooklyn. My session included a full professional make-up transformation, and two photo shoots with a different outfit in each session. The too-long-didn’t-read of it all is that this in-depth experience is strongly recommended for crossdressers who are just beginning and need some help, experience crossdressers who may learn a few things, and those in between – like me. Keep reading, if you’d like to see it broken down a little further.

Before You Go

It’s important to note that your transformation session can be done by either Adrian Acosta, or en femme persona, Amnesia Sparkles. The Adrian-version, which I opted for this time, is a bit cheaper, but probably not the “full experience.” By no means do I regret going with Adrian for my first time (he’s awesome!) but retrospectively I think the session with Amnesia could have been even more fun.

Communicating with Adrian is simple and easy. To start, fill out a brief form on Transform Photos. I reached out to Adrian in August and he got back to me within 24 hours. He was extremely flexible to work with and made sure I was fully informed and prepared for the session. There is a short questionnaire that is essentially two-parts – one about your experience crossdressing, and the second, optional, portion that focuses more on psychological aspects. Overall, I think it allows Adrian to get a fairly clear picture of who you are before you begin your session.

I brought with me to the session my breast forms, two wigs, far too many shoes, and a few outfits. I should note that the transformation session does include full-use of Amnesia’s own lady-closet.

Meeting Adrian

When my fiancée and I arrived, Adrian greeted us both warmly. I should note, Adrian was completely okay with the fact that my fiancée came. If you plan on bringing someone special definitely make sure you give him a heads up.

The transformation studio is located on the lower-floor of Adrian’s apartment and takes up the entire level. Immediately you are greeted by walls covered in Adrian’s bright and passionate photography, amongst other artwork, inspirational magazine clippings and more.

Adrian’s make-up station and selection are impressive. Admittedly, I know very little about make-up, but I have a feeling my initial comments would hold up even amongst the most beauty-savvy. There’s a high set chair in front of a bulb-lined mirror. This really helps emphasize that the day is about you, and you are the star.

The Transformation

Once again, I would like to reiterate: I know nothing about make-up. Adrian does.

Between somehow covering up my eyebrows and making them look semi-convincing and layering my face in a multitudes of what appeared to be war paints, Adrian’s work is more of an art form than a simple transformation. Who knew that a glue-stick could be used in so many ways.

In addition to the wonderful skin contouring, Adrian did a great job of bringing out my eyes. A mix of false eyelashes, eyeliner (in liquid form!), eye shadow and mascara did a great job of making my eyes pop.

Finally, some lipstick was used (different colors for different dresses.) and some foundation and contouring was applied to my chest/cleavage.

Time spent in the make-up chair – probably a bit over two hours. That may seem lengthy, but it all went by in a blur, and Adrian’s charisma and fun nature make the experience extremely enjoyable.


Adrian’s website has links to a Flickr page that documents clearly what clothing, shoes and wigs are available out of the lady-closet. Before coming, Adrian sends you links to these via e-mail and asks that you select a few things that might be interesting to you.

I had selected a few items from the lady-closet in advance, but I also bought a few of my own outfits. In the end, we decided to go with my selections from home – partially due to the fact that I am limited to long-sleeves. I did, however, use a pair of Adrian’s heels for the first shoot, as well as a belt.

Adrian has a great eye for fashion (which is pretty obvious if you know anything about Amnesia,) and he seemed to genuinely enjoy the strategizing involved in figuring out what outfit to wear.


I brought two wigs from home, and Adrian also has a plethora to choose from. I tend to play it safe with my wigs and generally stick with black, shoulder length hair. Adrian encouraged me to be a little bit more experimental with my hair.

At first I tried on a few brunette wigs. The first one looked great on me, but also made me look like the spitting image of my mother. Too creepy. The second brown one was short had pretty curls. We went with that one for the first photoshoot.

Other wigs Adrian had me try on included a long black wig that Adrian and my fiancée agreed made me look like a total bitch. (Not that that’s a bad thing.) Adrian also encouraged me to try on a few blonde wigs, which were fun, but in the end I couldn’t pull them off. My eyebrows are just too thick and dark.

For the second photoshoot we did a mix of the evil bitch wig and one of my shorter black wigs.

Experimenting with the different wigs was one of my favorite parts of the experience. I always knew how different hairstyles could entirely change the way a person looks, but I had never seen the change in action as drastically as I did today.


I have to give Adrian some more credit here. I don’t emote well, at least not when asked to. I was also ridiculously tense and nervous for a good portion of the afternoon, so relaxing for the photoshoot was not easy for me.

Adrian did not rush me, nor did he make me do anything I was uncomfortable with. He worked with what he had, and did the best with what I could offer in my tense state. Despite the fact that I probably made getting good photos difficult, Adrian somehow managed to get some. Quite a few, actually.

A great amount of photos were taken in a few different locations. The first batch of pictures were taken facing the make-up mirror, the next with the mirror at my back. Adrian then had me pose naturally standing in a few locations, most of which had his studio white screen as the back drop.

The studio was clean and decorated nicely so that no matter where I posed, the pictures came out crisply and were interesting to look at. He frequently took the time to show both myself and my fiancée how they were coming out.

On the small screen of the camera, the photos he showed me looked great. I haven’t seen them on the computer screen yet, but Adrian said he would send them to me shortly and I will certainly let everyone know how they turned out. (Probably very well.)

Final Thoughts

Before I drove over to Adrian’s I told myself that if I was happy with the experience I would leave his apartment en femme. At the end of the evening I went out en femme for the first time in a long time. It was just a short walk to and from the car, but the pleasure I get from being outside dressed up is almost as much as the fear. There used to be a lot more fear.

At the end of the second photoshoot Adrian encouraged my fiancée to join in a few photos, which was extremely kind of him and we definitely enjoyed taking them. Adrian suggested that next time I come (there will be a next time…) I bring my fiancee and we get dolled up together. She was totally on board with the idea – so it sounds like a date.

Adrian’s positivity and the fact that he is so easy to speak to makes him the perfect person for a crossdresser who lacks confidence to visit. Not only is he knowledgeable about the art of crossdressing, but he is well-versed on the topic of gender and sex. This makes for a formidable combination.

I cannot recommend the GenderFun transformation experience enough. Any crossdresser who lives in, or plans to visit the New York area owes it to themselves to pay Adrian a visit. My time in the studio was enjoyed in completeness on the emotional level, and the physical (appearance) level.

The next step, according to Adrian, is that he will send me all of the photos from the shoot. I will then select a few that he will also touch up for me. On one level, I can’t stand the idea of being “touched up,” and hate when they do that to girls in magazines. On another level, I can’t wait to see him work his magic.

I asked Adrian not to post my pictures on his website for the time being. In the springtime, provided this school year goes well and I have more job security, I will let Adrian post them. In the meantime, I hope to post a few to my flickr page once I have them.

When I took off my make-up this evening, it was sad. But it was worth it to feel how great I did while it was on, and now I have something to look forward to. I can’t wait to see how everything turns out the next time I visit the studio.


Photos received. They look great. I need to lose some weight, and maybe a cup size. I will post a few blurry photos shortly, and put some clean ones up on Flickr.

Runway Updates

Hello again! I’m back, with a new computer to boot. Some new clothes too. I don’t yet have Photoshop on this computer, so I’m unable to edit my photos to my liking. I did, however, put this collage together in MS Paint. It will have to do for now.

Three different outfits

Three different outfits

The first dress is a long turquoise dress, with a v-cowl-neck. The kind of dress you’d wear out to a nice dinner, or to opera. I think. I’ve never been to the opera.

The second dress is a one-piece shirt/ruched-mini-skirt. I love the zipper in the back – I’ve never had any zip back dresses before. The glasses I bought at a street fair this summer and had completely forgotten about. They work well with this outfit, though. At first, my girlfriend said I looked like a 70s movie star, but then she said I looked like my mom. I’m not sure which is worse.

The third outfit is a belted wool turtle-neck. It’s not as form-fitting as I thought it would be, but it’s comfy to wear. I think it would look better with a big black belt, but alas, I don’t have any.

In non-clothing events, I do want to apologize for the majority of my posts recently fitting into the “Vain” category. I haven’t had the time desired, or the urge, to post anything too thoughtful recently. The thoughts are there, but the effort isn’t.

There was a post on r/crossdressing the other day that linked to an article about a college student who was raped while crossdressing. The student, who had been in the process of hazing to enter a fraternity, was not a crossdresser in the truest sense of the word. The college put out a statement, sugggesting that student’s not crossdress, as it invites trouble.

I commented on the thread about how, despite the tragedy of the event itself, the real issue is not the rape itself, but the issues around it.

1) Hazing should be illegal in all senses – why is this still an issue?

2) The college suggesting that crossdressing is the problem, and not the rape itself. Blame the victim, brilliant.

3) The fact that an alternative lifestyle like crossdressing can be thought of as something for hazing. That would be like if the fraternity said the student should, “dress gay” or “dress mormon.” You shouldn’t be using the culture as a form of mockery.

I thought my post was fairly sensible, although perhaps a little too insensitive of the rape itself. (I was apologetic, but I said it was not the main issue to be addressed.) The post was promptly down-voted by other redditors, without any explanation.

I don’t know what the problem was – no one commented about the down votes. At this point, there are actually 5 upvotes and 4 down, so somewhere somebody has agreed with me. You can read the full post here. I think the article itself is down, however.

That rant being said, a few more things:

  1. I really liked how my pictures came out tonight. I love all of my new clothes, and I’m getting better with make up.
  2. There are more posts coming on serious things – re-analyzing the word “transgender” being one of them.
  3. I still want to venture outside to real-things. I was in the city the other night and I realized that a) no one pays attention to anyone and b) there are a million people who are crazier than me out there.

I hope everyone enjoys the rest of their December. I believe it’s time to think of some crossdressing New Years’ resolutions…

(Edit – Also! I posted about 35 new pictures on Flickr – so check them out! Remember – friend me first, so I can friend you back – otherwise there’s nothing to see.)



Laptop exploded on Wednesday shortly after my Thanksgiving post. Fortunately, good deals on new computers this weekend mean I’ll be able to post normally again this weekend. This works out nicely, because there were good deals on new clothing too.

Normal-type posts to resume Sunday, musings and pictures galore. For now, photo editing software on my tablet will have to do.

I hope everyone enjoys the sales this week, I’m excited that since this is my first holiday season out of the closet, there certainly more presents I’ll be able to buy myself. 🙂

Thanksgiving Fashion Show

Hello all! I’m in a great mood tonight. Thanksgiving break has arrived, and with it a number of my favorite things.

Thanksgiving with my family is always great. Usually my parents would host, but due to Sandy that’s not in the cards this year. Instead, we’re all heading out to an aunt and uncle for delicious meals and political “discussion.”

The real treat, though, is the day after Thanksgiving – in which all my friends get together for a pot-luck dinner. The only rule – you can’t bring anything that would be found at the Thanksgiving table. This is our ninth annual celebration and my girlfriend and I are hosting this year.

What makes me really excited about this is that, after looking at the guest list, almost all of the 17 RSVPs know that I crossdress at this point. The ones that don’t? It’s only because I haven’t had the chance to tell them. Does this mean I’m going to crossdress at the party…. well… at the moment, let’s say no. But nothing is set in stone, and you’ll see why later.

In addition, this break also brings a good friend’s birthday party, and a trip to MetLife Stadium to see the Giants play the Packers. My girlfriend is a Packers fan, and I don’t really care who wins, so either way it should be a good time.

The reasoniest reason that I’m in a good mood though? Clothes arrived! Last week when I was feeling down, and need to motivate myself to get some work-work done, I decided to go on a motivational shopping spree. I heard about a clothing site called Venus and saw a lot of really great looking, mostly affordable things. Here are the results, one at a time.

Red Dress

Sweater Dress

First down the aisle is a dark maroon v-nek sweater dress, along with high black boots. You might notice that I’m wearing another wig – this is actually the first real wig I ever got – for some reason I felt inspired to wear it tonight. I think I’m falling in love with it again. I later switched to my lower, my velvety slouch boots. I think they look better with the wool. Also, please ignore my hairy hand.

Ruched Skirt, Bow Neckline Top

Ruched Skirt, Bow Top

Now we have what I’m calling my “going to work” outfit. It’s classy and just a little bit sexy. The skirt is quite slimming, and the neckline of the shirt has a cute built in bow. I also now have something to wear my heels with! In addition, my butt looks quite good in the skirt, which is always a plus.

Belted Sweater

Belted Sweater

Last, but certainly not least we have the belted-sweater. You’ll notice the woven collar, and the built-in-belt. The dress can be worn with jeans (pictured) or leggings and does a wonderful job hugging all curves. The boots are the aforementioned slouch boots, which pretty much look good with anything.

So there you have it – my Thanksgiving fashion show. I’m undoubtedly going to be making many more purchases from Venus, and I think, after seeing this pictures, I don’t have to defend myself. Something about these outfits (whether it’s mental or physical, I don’t know) makes me feel really good about myself. So good, in fact, that I’m almost tempted to wear either outfit 1 or 3 to my Pot Luck Thanksgiving with friends on Friday. It’s unlikely, but time will tell. I need to run the idea by a few people first.

Also please note, there are a lot more pictures on Flickr. As you can tell, I had a really good time wearing these outfits, so it’s only natural that I wanted a lot of pictures. Do remember – you can only see them if you add me as a friend. Then I have to add you back. I will not add anyone who has a brand new account that provides ZERO information. This is to avoid the potential of one of my students stumbling upon the blog and trying to access my pictures. I hope that’s understandable.

That all being said – go be thankful. Especially if you’re a fellow crossdresser, because there isn’t anyone as awesome as we are.

Happy Chrossdressmas!


More Pics on Flickr

Hello all! I know, I’m past due for an update, and the last two parts of my Crossdressing on Halloween post collection. They’ll come soon. A bit exhausted right now, from running a 10 mile race yesterday, and hosting a Halloween party. There are way more pictures on Flickr for mutual contacts – you add me, I’ll add you ASAP.

For now, though, I’m going to sit back, eat some pizza and enjoy the fact that inclement weather has closed my school for tomorrow. The only people that want school closed more than the students? The teachers.

Enjoy your Halloweekend, all!


Chrossdressmas, Part 3: *Some Assembly Required

This is the third part of my Chrossdressmas series, which goes into way too much detail about my love affair with Halloween, as a crossdresser. The first two parts of the series deal with my past experiences on Halloween, and what Halloween means to me as a crossdresser. With the third installment, I will discuss this year’s Halloween costume and how it came to be. Let’s begin.



She’s more muscular than I am

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I began thinking about Halloween in July, as soon as I came out of the crossdressing closet. Within a week of telling my girlfriend I had a folder in my bookmarks that was filled with a number of different crossdressing ideas.

My first plan was Supergirl – one of the few female superheros with long sleeves. This costume could be put together pretty easily, but wasn’t very do-it-yourself, which is something I prefer in a Halloween costume. I still like the idea of a Supergirl costume, but I decided it wouldn’t work this year. Now that I was out, I wanted to do something that could show off how successfully I could do it. (This is debatable, opinions to yourself please.)

Costume: Dress

6pm Dress

Nice, but not curvy enough.

I moved on from Supergirl to simply “classy Halloween dress.” I knew I wanted it to focus on the colors black and orange, and I also wanted it to show off some of my curves. I narrowed it down to three different dresses, and eventually purchased a dress from The dress, pictured left, arrived, and was quite nice, but in the end I decided it didn’t do enough for my end. If it’s Halloween I’m going for wow.

From here, I moved onto to American Apparel, which I now known is known for selling clothes that fit better on trendy hipsters. I am not a trendy hipster. I did however, purchase a dress from them, that was revealing and showed off curves. I loved the plunging neckline in the back and front. (Note – the dress I purchased was in black, not sure what color that link actually goes to…) The only problem with the dress? With my breastforms, the bra is necessary and it shows quite obviously along the back. I’d met with failure once more.

Fortunately, American Apparel has a very similar dress, which I posted a picture of earlier from their site. The is short, black, with a plunging v-neck and a high back. It’s just a bit longer than the original American Apparel dress and it looks like this.

The Final Dress

This Is It

So at the moment, less than a week before my Halloween party this is the dress I’ve settled on. Plans can still change, though. I still like the 6pm dress, and if it wasn’t for the back of the first American Apparel dress, that would be my choice. I do have an invisible strap bra, but it doesn’t work very well with my breastforms and it isn’t very supportive. I’ve still got time to figure things out, though.

Costume: Belt

The costume, of course, needs some black and orange, and what better way to include some orange than with a waist cinching belt?

Finding a decent orange belt has not been easy. I’ve gone through three different belts, and finally the third belt is the one I’ve settled on.


Not Orange Snakes

The first belt has a bit of an orange and white weave, and just didn’t feel right. It looks a little bit too springy, and it didn’t close very strongly. A cheap belt off of ebay, and ultimately a mistake. The second belt is too short and too skinny – also very cheaply made.

The third belt is essentially a larger version of the second belt. I didn’t want a skinny belt – I didn’t like the way it looked. This ended up being the right call, as the thicker belt looks much better with the dress. In addition, it fits much better. It’s crazy how different sizing a belt for myself en homme and en femme can be.

Costume: Shoes

Just like everything else, my shoes for this costume has gone through phases. This one will probably come down to a decision on the day of the Halloween party.

The first shoes I ever bought myself were cute little Mary Janes from Payless. I thought this would be functional, and also an option for Halloween. This is still the case, but this was all before my mini-obsession with boots. The next option is my calf-high black boots. These look good with just about anything, and love the idea of a short dress and high boots. These are probably my top choice right around now. I also purchased my first pair of heels as an option for the costume…. but I also realize heels are extremely uncomfortable, even if they’re considered the comfortable heels.

All Shoes

All Shoes

No matter which decision I make, I’m pretty confident they’ll look alright.

Costume: Jewlery

For necklace, I think I’ll be wearing a cute black choker that belongs to my girlfriend. For earrings? Check this out:


Trick or Treat

The earrings are from Ashla Designs on etsy. Do note – I ordered the earrings as clip-ons and they were sent as regular earrings. I contacted the maker, and she’s sending me replacements, and an extra pair of clip-ons to apologize for the inconvenience. Once the replacements arrive, I will have no problem giving etsy and Ashla Designs my vote of confidence (and high seller marks.) Very good customer service, and awesome looking earrings. Win-win.

I also have an orange flower hair-clip from Claire’s that I’m excited about trying out. Forgot to snap a picture of it – sorry!

Costume: Make-Up

Orange lipstick, dark eye-shadow. I considered finding a place to get my make-up done professionally, but I can’t find anything extremely local, or anything fairly cheap. I’ll do the make-up myself, or perhaps get a friend to help me out. We’ll see.

Everything else for the make-up will be pretty typical. I’m going to get a professional shave a few hours before hand, so hopefully I’ll be able to more successfully hide any stubble.


That about sums up my costume. Finished pictures will obviously be posted next weekend after the party. I’m excited to try everything out all once… I’m also very nervous about dressing up around a lot of people who have never seen me dressed up before. I’ll go into much more detail with that next week, though, as part four of my Halloween expose is about my non-dressing plans for Halloween. This will talk much more in-depth about who I will probably be coming out to, how I’m going to do it, and how ridiculously nervous I am.

All in the name of crossdressing!

Now, though, it’s time to try out my new wig. Wearing it en homme I just look like a confuses samurai.



  • Taking a walk around the block, dressed, with your girlfriend, is the most wonderful feeling in the world.
  • Crossdressing is more competitive than I thought before I started – every time I think I’ve done a good job with something, I see someone else has done it waaaay better.
  • Payless UGG knock-offs are awesome and comfortable. And look great with leggings.
  • I have a new lace-front wig coming in the mail soon. Not quite sure how it works, but I’m hoping it has more styling options than my current wig. Does anyone know if it’s possible for a human-blend wig to get split ends?
  • Halloween costume is coming together nicely. Going to need some gorrila tape to keep some articles of clothing in place. Expect a pictorial Halloween costume themed post this weekend.
  • I took a great picture tonight, that I wish I could post unblurred – the below will have to do, though. The clear photo, and more, can be found on Flickr. (Contacts only – add me and I’ll add you.)
  • Number of propositions received since I started crossdressing: 3.
  • Number of propositions received in over twenty-five years of male form: 0 (not including girlfriend or exes.)
New Necklace

If you squint, it looks kind of clear.

A few more days until the weekend! Looking forward to a relaxing weekend of crossdressing, football and pizza.

Fun With Filters


Photo Apps Are Fun

Cheap apps are fun. Just messing around with a new filter app. Props to Paper Camera, which you can find on the Google App store (and probably elsewhere, too.) This is probably the clearest picture I’ll post on here. Also note, there are some new photos are Flickr. Just remember to add me as a contact, and I’ll add you back so you can see the pictures.


Here’s something!

Want to see all of the photos from my blog unblurred, plus some other photos?

Just friend me on Flickr, located here. I’ll try to accept as quickly as possible. I know it seems kind of dumb, maybe even a little bit patronizing, but I will remind you, I probably shouldn’t risk posting unblurred photos in the open. This will have to do for now. Ask me again about it June 2014.

Meanwhile….. I’m dressed now… I didn’t plan on it…. but I had the house to myself for a few hours. These things just kind of happen. Oh well!

(edit – note: you have to be signed in to your account to add a contact.)