Good Friends

Sometimes it’s not easy to write. Some people rely on writing at certain tables, others depend on a certain ink. I can write from pretty much anywhere, with just about anything. I just can’t force myself to do it.

Hurricane Sandy, while sparing me, hit my family fairly hard. After my blog post last week I spent three straight days helping my family. My family, in the house that I grew up, faced five feet of flooding in the basement and garage – both of which generally saw a lot of use. In addition, two cars were destroyed and today, almost a week after a storm they are still lack electricity, heat, cell service and all that other good stuff. Very fortunately, everyone is safe.

Spending so much time laboring to clean with them certainly brought everyone closer, but not in a way that has impacted us yet. It’s still the “I cant believe this happened” period, not yet the “Look back and laugh sadly” time. If there’s anything crossdressing-related I can take away from this is that when I do come out to my family, I think they will all be supportive no matter what.

This post is supposed to be about good friends, though, so let’s move on.

If you recall in an earlier post, I discussed one friend who had a not-quite-welcoming reaction to my coming out. Nothing negative, just general shock and disbelief. He too lost power and first-world life in wake of the hurricane and needed a place to stay. My girlfriend and I took him in over the weekend, which proved for good bonding in a time of need.

On Saturday I boldly suggested that I would go out to a bar dressed. My girlfriend, house guest, and two other friends in-the-know obliged pending my ultimate decision. Ultimately, I don’t think anyone particularly wanted to go out to a bar, so instead went over to our friends’ house for board games and moves. I went dressed.

After a night out with friends

Walking over dressed, without the shield of an umbrella this time, proved exciting. The fear of going short distances in the dark is certainly starting to wear off. Baby steps. That’s all. What mattered more to me is the fact that I was able to spend a good few hours dressed, with friends and no one made a big deal of it. Our time together would have been no different, regardless of what I was wearing. This meant more to me than anything else.

It’s these kinds of experiences that I think are necessary to build confidence and ultimately help me venture out into more populated areas during brighter times. I know I mentioned in my previous post going out en femme on New Years. That’s definitely a long shot, but further, larger steps are most definitely in the picture.

Eventually the goal is to be able to step out of the house without reservation regardless of what I am wearing. Like complete recovery from Sandy, this goal is long term and will certainly take time and patience. Both, though, are certainly attainable with the help of family and good friends.

 

For the Record

A thought occurred to me, so I wanted to clear things up.

No, I am not a crossdressing bear. I just thought it sounded funny. Also, crossdressing is by no means a burden – you just have to be careful where you put the emphasis on great.

With that said, happenings have happened! Where to begin?

As of today, excluding me, four people know I crossdress.

1. My girlfriend – she was not, however, the first to know.

2. A good friend (male) – he actually inspired me to tell my girlfriend. We had dinner one night when both of our girlfriends were out – we kind of promised that we’d each tell our respective gal pals our deep dark secrets. (He is not a crossdresser, and no, I won’t tell you his secret.)

3. His girlfriend – and here is where I interlude with a story…

On Saturday night I had planned on going out to get a drink or two with my aforementioned good friend. Knowing full well he would call me, I en femmed. The call came, and I suggested he come over, with his girlfriend, alerting him I was now a she. He thought I was drunk and said he would call me back.

Moments later the phone rings, now more composed, he asked me to restate what I had just said. I explained that I was dressed up, with my girlfriend and I wanted him and his to come on over. He recalled to me that his girlfriend does not know about my escapades, to which I was well aware, and I told him to tell her. They would come.

I freshened up my lip gloss, and began to tremble. No one, besides the GF had seen me dressed up before. She calmed me down and promised nothing bad would happen.

The doorbell rings, and I answer (stepping foot into the hallway of our apartment – farther out the door than ever before. I let the two of them in and it was done. The night went well, my friend acting slightly strange, but not out of the ordinary, and his girlfriend was cool as a cucumber. When I asked how they thought some other friends would react, my friend’s girlfriend told me that they will be okay with it because they are good friends and good friends want you to be happy. Wisdom indeed.

That brings me to number four.

4. Another friend (female, bisexual) – I only emphasize the bisexual here because it was an important factor in deciding to tell her. I knew she would be okay with everything. I suppose that’s playing it safe on my part, but baby steps, my friends.

In other news, the spending continues. Someone needs to take away my credit card. Bought a sweater and dress/shirt thing the other day. Also a few things for Halloween that I will detail in its own post once everything has arrived.

Yesterday evening my shoes arrived – you can see them here. I had ordered the wide width calf per my girlfriend’s suggestion. Unfortunately they were a bit too wide. Conundrum. Initially, I had asked my girlfriend if she would bring them to the store and exchange the size 12Ws for a size 12, despite her being a size 7. She agreed. That night, though, I couldn’t sleep – I didn’t want to make her have to do that for me (she’s done enough already, really.) I took the shoes myself this afternoon and exchanged them. No awkward stares, no comments. Yes, I’m pretty sure everyone within a ten foot radius was thinking, “who’s the queer with the huge boots?” but perhaps that’s only in my head. Regardless, exchange was made and I did it myself. I think that deserves something.

I drove home in the boots, unwilling to wait to put them on. This I suppose is the crossdresser equivalent of the kid who finds all his hidden Christmas presents weeks before Christmas. (Yes, I was that kid – Hanukkah, though.)

The boots, along with my super skinny jeans from Old Navy look great. Maybe I’ll post a lower body image later – or something with my face blurred out. I want to post a picture – at some point – I just don’t think it’s a good idea. Yet.

Before I wrap this up, one quick anecdote! The other day I joined a meetup group for crossdressers in NYC. I had to post a picture to be accepted to the group – this was okay – it’s private. Today I got an e-mail from a tranny admirer vaguely propositioning me for…. things.

Wow! In all my years as a guy I can only think of two or three times I’ve been even hit on – but this was something else. Three days with one en femme picture online and already I’m invited over to a guys house. Creepy, and just a little bit flattering.

That’s all for now – goodnight!