Sometimes it’s not easy to write. Some people rely on writing at certain tables, others depend on a certain ink. I can write from pretty much anywhere, with just about anything. I just can’t force myself to do it.
Hurricane Sandy, while sparing me, hit my family fairly hard. After my blog post last week I spent three straight days helping my family. My family, in the house that I grew up, faced five feet of flooding in the basement and garage – both of which generally saw a lot of use. In addition, two cars were destroyed and today, almost a week after a storm they are still lack electricity, heat, cell service and all that other good stuff. Very fortunately, everyone is safe.
Spending so much time laboring to clean with them certainly brought everyone closer, but not in a way that has impacted us yet. It’s still the “I cant believe this happened” period, not yet the “Look back and laugh sadly” time. If there’s anything crossdressing-related I can take away from this is that when I do come out to my family, I think they will all be supportive no matter what.
This post is supposed to be about good friends, though, so let’s move on.
If you recall in an earlier post, I discussed one friend who had a not-quite-welcoming reaction to my coming out. Nothing negative, just general shock and disbelief. He too lost power and first-world life in wake of the hurricane and needed a place to stay. My girlfriend and I took him in over the weekend, which proved for good bonding in a time of need.
On Saturday I boldly suggested that I would go out to a bar dressed. My girlfriend, house guest, and two other friends in-the-know obliged pending my ultimate decision. Ultimately, I don’t think anyone particularly wanted to go out to a bar, so instead went over to our friends’ house for board games and moves. I went dressed.
Walking over dressed, without the shield of an umbrella this time, proved exciting. The fear of going short distances in the dark is certainly starting to wear off. Baby steps. That’s all. What mattered more to me is the fact that I was able to spend a good few hours dressed, with friends and no one made a big deal of it. Our time together would have been no different, regardless of what I was wearing. This meant more to me than anything else.
It’s these kinds of experiences that I think are necessary to build confidence and ultimately help me venture out into more populated areas during brighter times. I know I mentioned in my previous post going out en femme on New Years. That’s definitely a long shot, but further, larger steps are most definitely in the picture.
Eventually the goal is to be able to step out of the house without reservation regardless of what I am wearing. Like complete recovery from Sandy, this goal is long term and will certainly take time and patience. Both, though, are certainly attainable with the help of family and good friends.