Grump

Well, I’ve hit a new level. I never thought this would happen.

I’m writing this, fully dressed, make-up, breasts, clothes – you name it. But I’m grumpy.

Back in the beginning of July if you had told me that I would be able to crossdress, look pretty decent, all while my girlfriend was home I would have told you two things:

1. Shut the fuck up.

2. Seriously? Oh – then that’s the best thing in the world. Nothing can ruin that.

It’s September now, though, and I’ve been dressing for about two months. Each time adding a little more, getting a bit better, and more comfortable. Except now I’m grumpy.

This is me, slightly grumpy

Slightly grumpy.

While dressing tonight my FreeBra broke. Yes, I know – it’s a piece of garbage. I spent a few bucks on it, and even in my last post I thought it’s durability was questionable. Here’s the thing, though. It’s still adhesive, but the silicone gel broke. The left boob just split. While I was dressing. And I looked pretty good, to boot.

Jump to the present. I’m still dressed, my cleavage is minimal, and now I know that I have spent enough crossdressing that I can be grumpy while doing so. The endless euphoria an uncloseted crossdresser feels comes with a caveat. It ends.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m still happy to be dressed. I imagine this is how a genetic girl feels when a favorite bra breaks. My cleavage – gone, just like that!

In an effort to play the optimist, I’ll try to look at this from another angle. I’m comfortable enough crossdressing that it no longer feels like an experience, and it’s just another part of life. That’s really cool – crossdressing is the new normal. That’s something to celebrate. The fact that I can type a blog entry, watch the Mets game, or read a book, forgetting the fact that I’m en femme is awesome.

Before I came out, any time I tried to do these things while home alone and dressed, I couldn’t pay attention. Every sensation was too new, too exciting. Now I can compartmentalize and enjoy being dressed while not even realizing it.

So I take the good with the bad. No cleavage, but the ability to relax, breathe and be me. Besides, I shouldn’t be grumpy. I ordered two more FreeBras from ebay. Next time I’ll be prepared!

In other news, my girlfriend braided my hair earlier. I think it looked pretty good, but I prefer to have my hair hide the sides of my face – I think it makes me look less masculine. It was fun to try, though, and looked cute with my outfit.

Also to note – I had 91 hits the other day, and over 100 during a 24-hour span. That’s pretty damn cool. A number of different countries, too…. So hello anyone actually reading this!

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6 comments on “Grump

  1. Liz says:

    Hi! I just found your blog, and I think it’s awesome – I couldn’t see a better way to contact you, so I figured I’d just comment 🙂 Just wanted to say keep up the good work! Your writing is really awesome 🙂 I hope you don’t mind, but I added a link to your blog from my website.

    Looking forward to more posts!

    • Justine says:

      Thank you! I don’t have any “Contact Me” section up, as I’m not out to most people – I should look into setting up a separate e-mail account for the blog, though, or at least a contact submission form.

      I’m honored that you would add a link to my blog on yours. I came across yours on Reddit a few months ago, and yours was definitely one of the voices that helped me become more okay with my crossdressing, and also coming out to my girlfriend. I have thought about setting up a “Links” page and when I do MWS will definitely be on there. 🙂

  2. pi314chron says:

    Justine,

    First, congratulations on the success of your blog. It’s easy to understand why it’s so popular and gaining speed. Your writing is many cuts above the usual blather about the trials and tribulations of a new dresser. I just LOVE it when I see you have a new post because they are always fresh and interesting…even when you’re “grumpy”!

    Second, the photos you post are fantastic and intriguing. Plus, they show clearly that a dresser doesn’t have to settle for looking just “ok.” They inspire all of us to do our absolute best to look gorgeous as you do. My guess is that many of us would follow your blog for your photographs alone, if there weren’t a single word in your blog.

    I hope the new day has mellowed your mood, but surely you know — you’re helping and inspiring all of us and looking so beautiful…even when you are grumpy!

    Be good to YOU,

    Randa Lane

    • Justine says:

      Randa,

      I’m glad you feel my writing stands out. When I started writing my goal was to offer a fresh perspective that could change the perception people have of crossdressers. I realize that’s pretty bold to even attempt – and has been done countless times before, but as long as people keep reading, I will keep writing. After exploring the crossdressing community, albeit briefly, over the past few months, I think I will soon write a blog post with what I perceive to be some of the hurdles crossdressers often face when they set out to write a “normal” blog.

      I’m also flattered in regards to your comments on my photos. Because I’m terrible at accepting any compliments I’m going to assume my photos only turn out okay because I consistently photoshop my face.

      Thanks for the comment :),

      Justine

  3. Alva Stavros says:

    I simply want to say I’m very new to weblog and certainly loved you’re website. Most likely I’m likely to bookmark your website . You definitely have terrific well written articles. Cheers for revealing your webpage.

  4. I agree with Randa. Your posts are entertaining and very enjoyable to read. I have come across may blogs dealing with crossdressing, but will now limit myself to those I really enjoy and can relate to. M.

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