The title of this post is a classic line from Family Guy, and as I learned the other day, true.
The dress I am going to wear for Halloween has a low cut back, which means I cannot use my breast form bra, as the back strap would be plainly visible. To work around this I ordered from ebay a bra with invisible straps and body adhesive, which would require a serious lack of fur.
My girlfriend gave me the okay to shave my chest and back, and with her help I was shorn. Now, I’m quite the hirsute fellow, and this was no easy process. I started by using my electric razor to trim all the hair so that it would be easier to shave. After this I hopped in the shower and shaved the rest. My girlfriend helped with the back, and just like that my loafish body looked like a slippery beached whale.
Having a clean chest after being hair for the past twelve years or so is taking some getting used to. I clearly didn’t do a very good job shaving between my man-boobs, as denoted by the various cuts and bumps now present. The end process, does, however, looks quite good – and the ability to wear any low cut shirt adds to femininity more than I would have guessed.
I’m uploading another photo, with more detail but my face blurred out. If you saw the whole thing, I swear you’d swear I looked almost demure.
I should, though, explain the cleave. Using the make-up tutorial located here I was able to create some semblance of boob. I didn’t have all the materials used in the tutorial, but I made due with what was accessible.
Overall, considering it was the first time I’ve attempted art on my chest – I’d say it was a success.
I’m other news, add another to the list of people I’ve told. This one was a bit more daring. A friend of mine who is quite liberal in talk, but still acts conservative when presented with some real-life situations.
Initially he did not believe me – he thought I was pulling some sort of massive joke. I showed him some pictures, and he still wasn’t sure if he was being punk’d. It took another friend, who knew, to confirm to him the truth.
He is okay with everything, but was definitely weirded out. He said it is hard to learn something so new and important about someone you’ve known for so long. I suppose that’s fair to say – if I was presented with a similar situation I might take some time to adjust. I don’t think our friendship is going to change, but it’s up to him to determine the role he plays in my life while I am dressed.
A few other purchases I want to make note of:
- Bought a few jackets and shirts. One of shirts is a long dressy shirt with buttons in the middle. It is VERY tough to button – not a lot of stretch room around the shoulders. I can button it all, but it prevents me from lifting my arms, and the space in between the buttons gets held open. I thought it was just me, but my girlfriend, who is quite normal sized, has a similar problem with the shirt. Welcome to the wonderful world of women’s clothing.
- Bought a new wig – this one is half-human/half-synthetic. A cyborg wig, if you will. This will have less sheen and hopefully not tangle as much. In addition, I purchased a styrofoam head to go with it this time. For my current wig I withheld because I didn’t want to leave it out in the open all the time. I see, though, how tangled it gets, even when I store it delicately, so I’m going to have to find some place to put it.
- The dress I want to wear on halloween is like a low boat neck top. American Apparel sells the same dress with a V-neck too. I kind of really want to purchase the V-neck one now, with my new found cleavage skills. We’ll see.
- I have a few other things coming in the next few days – boots, another jacket, hopefully a better invisible strapped bra….. The purchases will have to stop soon, though, as it’s back to work for me.
That’s all I have to say for now. When the new wig arrives I’ll post some pictures of it, perhaps with a more detailed Halloween dress themed post.